Mass suicidality shocks party-goers: punch blamed

Active citizen reporter Sifon noted on the Canticle submission board that Tinn and Flog’s recent wedding was spiced up by a mass suicide by Whitehand, whose corpses were piling up on the crossroads.

Our almost-paid newspaper staff reached the frustrated performance artist as he had already regained ten levels. While he was surprised to hear he had made the news, Whitehand commented that the news media never pays attention to the underlying message of the artist, and just on cheap entertainment aspects such as the shock value of the piece. We successfully failed to get this critique and proceed to note that he has quite enjoyed his trait reset gained as a side effect.

The town health inspectors note that part of Whitehand’s corpse pile was apparently sold to the butcher, whose Soylent Dwarf Sausages were then brought back to be enjoyed by all.

Today, another less active reporter citizen, Expresso (Blank, Downforth, Quantum, Stage, Samhain, Fizzler), has performed a more suicidal mass suicide in all quiet. When we summoned a group of necromancers to interview him, he noted he has important things to do in another realm, but his ghost will lurk in the shadows until he reincarnates in two years. Fir has ghostwritten his postmortem suicide note on the Adventurer board.

The mass media wishes him good luck and still maintains that the Neville mage of freezing is seriously not *that* far to walk to.

The Gemynd Post would also like to credit Sugerdeadly for the punchline of this article.


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