Reports from under the table

On a recent adventurous drip, I mean, trip of exploration, our brave reporters managed to reach new levels of intoxication while surviving situations that were highly straining (to the liver, at least).

Our first stop was The Smoking Roc, which turned out to be aptly named. After a quick lager served with a gnomish pastry, we were recommended several fine brands of brimstone, which apparently is a popular smoke among gnomes in Vajalore. As for what followed after this, let us just say that some of the varieties have special properties. We took a couple of days off to recuperate from our experimentation.

Our second stop was Ranor’s Pride, an inn that is also a thriving family business. After we got the necessary introductions out of the way and politely declined the offers of local entrepreneur offspring’s hands in marriage, we decided to sit down and have a competition. In an inn, there were three obvious choices: sleeping contest, eating contest, and a drinking contest. We decided to start with the last one first, and it is safe to say that we all lost spectacularly. We were in luck, though – had we taken the eating contest first, there would have been much more to lose. After that, we had quite a successful, if slightly drawn-out, sleeping contest.

We might have left the inn a bit too early due to running low on our precious research budget. As it turns out, we managed to get spectacularly lost on our way home, and finally stumbled upon a knowledgeable man of the sauce. He taught us the way of the vodkha, and made us promise we would not tell anyone where his business is. This was simple enough, because the stuff was potent enough that by the time we found our way to civilization, we had to read our written notes to figure out where we had been the last few days.

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