Old news is good news

Explorer’s editorial:

The maps of Hanza, realm explorer extraordinaire, support the ‘asciiart’ setting and even show ranger bridges. Make no mistake, his products are simply magical!

We collected random people hanging out at the office to test Hanza’s maps. The pocket map was found very convenient to carry along and low-priced, but somewhat hard to use to get to further-away places due to its small visible map area. The wanderer’s map, one size larger, received good evaluations on its price vs. quality score. The sorcerer’s map was considered excellent when looking for hidden villages and long-lost hideouts – which turn out to also show up on the map – but mind-blowingly large for regular use, while the medium-sized adventurer’s map fell somewhere in between.

In addition to his magical wares, Hanza sells educative mapkits for newcomers, allowing them to practice the fine art of cartography by mapping out Tantallon themselves. Hanza also stocks multiple specialized traveller’s maps leading to various central locations on Anguish. We should clearly convince him to set up a branch shop in Gemynd for similar maps of the area!

Foreign news:

In more recent events, a radiatingly active elf is suspected to be responsible for an outbreak of ugliness in wild animals on the distant continent of Anguish. Authorities are investigating whether there is a need to declare him a hazard area.

The risk this poses to residents of Infidian is considered moderate, as a reasonable number of crackpots have already set up their public calculations on how crazy mages may suddenly leap from one continent to another through dimension doors. Residents are urged to stay at home and not rush to the nearest apothecaries to empty them of anti-magical remedies and beauty products, which will definitely not run out unless everyone starts to hoard them like mad… actually, someone else finish writing this, I need to pop by at the, eh, store…

The mage was also heard complaining how ships don’t even have groins to knee these days. It is open to question whether this is due to spontaneous corrective mutation in these wood-based life forms, or the commenter being completely out of his mind, is open to question, but we do know that the people in the far west are somewhat strange about many things.

Dragonian news:

Observers of dragons in the southeastern parts of Infidian have found that over the years, the treasures they hoard seem to have become slightly less magical and fabulous than before.

Authorities strictly deny that this has anything to do with the mage news and that the change was done years ago already, but we would like to randomly speculate on the possibility of a connection in order to raise sales anyway.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: